>Heh! Look! I’m in your blog! And I was just trying log onto my blogger account. Holy crap. How did this happen?

Mwahahaha!

My name is Steph and I’m a big dumb monkey.

>Good thing I’m not a gay, unemployed, uninsured, illegal immigrant or I’d be really mad about Dumbass’ speech last night. Oh wait, I am really mad.

Actually, it was the best possible speech for the Democrats. Here’s the message loud and clear: Bush is insane and not living in the same universe the rest of us are. We must act together to vote him out of office.

I know this sounds like a “Duh” thing to say, but I recall, not so long ago, a bunch of Nader supporters voting Bush into the White House.

>Comedian Lenny Bruce pardoned for obscenity use, almost 40 years after death

Well, I’ve been trying to figure out how to make this whole process more erotic. Eroticism is really the only reason the Internet exists. Okay, eroticism; buying shit from Amazon so you don’t actually have to leave your house to get a wedding present for someone you hate; and stealing music.

But porn drives the whole thing.

To try and make this more interesting, I have been trying to masturbate while I write these things so I can describe the sensation to our reader(s). (Usually, “pretty good.”)

In an apparent attempt to foil this process, Stephanie has posted, over to your left, a photograph of Ari Hoptman. Now, Ari is one of the funniest people I have ever met, but as Stephanie is surely aware, he is far from my romantic ideal. Or, as Liz Jubera, a girl I had a crush on once put it, “Ew.”

To summarize:

1. Stephanie — Against artistic experimentation.

2. Ari Hoptman — Funny, sexually unappealing.

3. Me — Not masturbating.

>I am trying to figure out the difference between just writing shit and putting it on a website, and “blogging.”

So far, the main difference I can see is that there is less porn involved in blogging. But maybe I just haven’t seen the right blogs yet.

Vagina. Did that make you hot? Nope, me either. Maybe if I blog, and then go to a strip club…